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B-sides By: Gavin Mooney
If you followed last weeks advice you did not go see any of the new movies out and you know I didn’t. But bashing aside I did have a few friends check out “Friday the13th” and they were generally entertained. Like I always say, if horror is your thing then, eh, go check it out. Speaking of horror, instead of watching over budget remakes of classic movie slashers I took an eye full of another on screen legend, Bruce Campbell. I have affectionately dubbed this week’s article B-sides in homage to this man’s courage to not only keep on making bad movies but to make all those bad movies awesome. Who knows hopefully during slower movie weeks or through helpful suggestions I may be able to get around to more of these “sub-standard” movies that the high and mighties in Hollywood seem to always overlook despite the plethora of good original ideas. So who knows this may be the first of many B-movie reviews. But first I would like to explain how I judge these “bad” movies. One, I immediately throw out any expectations of good, well trained acting. You can’t let inexperienced or bad actors ruin what was someone’s best effort to make a decent movie with what they had. Two, get ready for 70’s style special effects done the best they can with modern technology. Granted they can do more for the same price as it was in the 70’s but some gags just don’t get old. Third, it’s the story I’m interested in. The only redeeming quality for any movie for me is what the fuck is this all about. I spend time and money to watch something I better not get stuck watching “Ass.” I don’t care if it won 8 Oscars including one for best screenplay that movie was shitty, no pun intended. Bruce Campbell is most well known for the great horror classic “Evil Dead.” Now if you are like “Who?” or “What?” then you my friend are sadly missing out! Now for everyone else who knows where I am coming from I took time this weekend to indulge in some of this B-movie star’s career. Bruce Campbell can definitely go down as the King of B-movie actors. Any B-movie to have the luxury and privilege to cast Bruce Campbell has not only the perfect actor to save what will ultimately be a bad movie, but the sign of approval from the authority on fantastic bad movies. And so without further ado my opinion as rated by either worth your money or ask for it back and the movies are in the order I saw them.
My Name is Bruce - New film out starring the man Bruce Campbell. In this film he plays himself and a town hires the actor Bruce Campbell to save their village from a pissed off guardian of the dead and patron of bean-curd sellers Guan-di (It's true look it up). His character of course thinks it is all a farce until he has his “Three Amigos” moment and realizes it’s not. This movie was pretty hilarious and for the fans of the legend Bruce Campbell it was a mixture of all your favorite Bruce mannerisms. All from his cheesy lines, to witty comebacks, his backhanded compliments, and classic heroic moments of glory were jammed packed into this delightful classic B-movie. This movie shows you just about all that is great about B-movies in a general all encompassing sort of way. If you’re new to the B-movie scene and this happens to be your first movie and you say “that movie sucked!” then stop here ‘cause you clearly don’t get it. Go back to your popcorn poppers and leave any chance of seeing a really original idea on screen at the door. In this movie the villain was cool, our hero awesome, the story entertaining, the gore was alright, and it was funny. I definitely feel that this movie is well worth your dollar. Rent it now and see it.
Bubba Ho-Tep - First time movie from director Don Coscarelli. Bruce Campbell stars as a 65 year old Elvis (the real one) who is dying from cancer on his penis living in a retirement home that is plagued by a pharaoh mummy sucking the souls out of all of the elderly at night. Now if the premise doesn’t sound funny or entertaining enough for you then I’m sorry you got to work on that. Now this movie did kinda drag at times but I thought it was pretty good. Bruce Campbell was of course awesome. The mummy he was pretty cool looking and the character development in this movie was very good. As goofy as the movie sounds and is, the characters and story are really good. This movie has indy painted all over it but it is one really well done indy. This movie is definitely worth your money. Go out to your local video store and rent it today.
Man with the Screaming Brain - Made for TV movie written and directed by Bruce Campbell. This movie is a B-movie classic. Just look at the cover art. You’ll never find something so enticing that’s just so bad. The movie is about an industrialist who through a series of unfortunate events he has to share his brain with another person. “Huh?” you might say but wait it gets better. Not only is this a funny exploration into the life a person who would be stuck in this predicament but it is a hilarious story of redemption, love, science, spies, gypsies, and robots. Again low budget effects and acting but all pushed aside and redeemed by a man whose musk oozes through the screen. I speak of course of Bruce Campbell. Not one of his best but an entertaining idea none the less. Not for everyone so depending on the person you may demand your money back. Personally worth to rent.
Alien Apocalypse - Made for TV movie by writer director Josh Becker. Bruce Campbell stars a doctor who returns to Earth with a deep space exploration team after it has been overrun by aliens. Now he must muster up the few remaining people on the planet to overthrow there now alien enslavers. Not one of his best. The movie overall sucked. The story drew me in only to shit all over my hopes and dreams. Bruce Campbell was the only redeeming factor and unfortunately that was not redeeming enough. This movie just goes from bad to worse as it moves along. Forget the bad dialogue, or unbelievable bad ending, it’s just a shame to see what could have been a good idea for a movie go so unbelievable wrong. This movie is a prime example of B-movie at its worse. If you’ve had the misfortune of watching this movie I sadly have to say you need to ask for your money back. And something from the past...
The Evil Dead Series - “Evil Dead” “Evil Dead 2” “Army of Darkness” are three movies that demonstrate the best B-movies had to offer. These movies of course opened my eyes and introduced me to the man that is Bruce Campbell. If you haven’t seen any of his movies ever then waste no more time and add these movies to your collection now. They’re kinda freaky, the gore is cool, and they’re funny on top of it. These movies are classics and known by all for a reason. Before you check out any of these other movies get acquainted and fall in love with these movies first! You won’t regret it.
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