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Movie Week: 10/11/08 to 10/17/08 By: Gavin Mooney What the hell! “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” again! Two Fucking weeks in a row! To quote Walter, “Has the whole world gone crazy!!!” Was everyone in America like “Hmmm… this piece crap was number one in America? Guess I’ll go see what that’s all about,” and propelled this movie to number one AGAIN! This has to stop; the number one movie cannot be about a stupid talking dog. Those Taco Bell commercials weren’t even that good. This sends a bad message to the world about America. “Idiocracy” is closer around the corner than you might think and we will all be subjected to movies comparable to “Ass.” Don’t give this ridiculous movie any more money when you could go see a good movie, or least a better one, like the following:
Max Payne - New film out about the video game Max Payne. Never played the game myself but if you haven’t either it won’t change you’re experience for this movie. It’s about a cop named Max Payne, played by Marky Mark, who is out to find the last suspect in his wife’s unsolved murder case. It’s about a lot more but none of it is interesting or even semi-plausible. That being said if you like awesome violence or you were a fan of the game, you’ll have to wait awhile but you get your daily dose. Most video game movies kinda suck like “Doom,” “Resident Evil,” or the infamous “Street Fighter” but next to “Hitman” (best video game movie yet) it was pretty good. Marky Mark had a lot to do with this, playing yet another bad ass Hollywood heavy, and giving an entertaining performance in the lead role. If you don’t care too much about story or having to wait awhile for some good action to place then I would recommend you go see this movie. It’s no “Die Hard” but it will at least keep you going till the next Hollywood action flick comes out.
Sex Drive - One word… Hilarious! This movie did not fail to deliver. I had a long day of unsatisfying movie watching for two reasons, mentioned above and below, and I was glad to finish it off with this little gem at the end of the day. “Sex Drive” is about this guy who goes on an overnight road trip in order to bust his cherry. I personally am enjoying the recent release of these rated “R” comedies. Ever since I grew up and the regular PG and PG-13 comedies just began really falling short and all the R rated comedies were either not funny and sucked, or were romantic comedies, movies like “Knocked Up” “Superbad” and “Pineapple Express” really filled a gap that was rarely filled once a year. Clark Duke was the fucking man and along with Seth Green both of whom made the fucking movie! These two both continuously stole every scene from every actor except each other, which made for one of the funniest scenes in the movie. This movie KICKED ASS! Go see it!
W. - Oliver Stone’s new film about our 43rd president George W. Bush... ... I don’t know what to say about this movie. I like it and I despise it. Josh Brolin gave an awesome performance. That alone made the movie worth it and was for me about the only drawing power it had. That being said Fuck This Movie! I don’t know what Oliver Stone was trying to do. Was he trying to justify this administration’s actions? Was he attacking them? I don’t fucking know!!! All I know is that I went into that movie disliking our 43rd President and came out empathizing with him. FUCK THAT! My friend said its good for me cause who wants to walk around with a chip on their shoulder on account of this guy but look what he did to our country! I mean Fuck! The movie shows him doing it and you know how it all ends but still there is something about how Brolin plays Bush, and the same something you see in that douche bag on TV and press conferences and speeches, that makes you stop and think that if you just knew this guy he’d be the coolest fucker you know. Personally I prefer to spite him. The movie itself only focuses on his early life in college up to the end of his first term but the message of the movie, whatever it is, gets through (Not very convincing I know). If you’re into political movies, or just in the mood given the election season, then I would recommend this movie for you. Just remember, you’ve been warned!
Body of Lies - Movie out last week starring Russell Crow and Leonardo DiCaprio. This is another movie that takes place in the Middle East in the modern day and how the U.S. and other governments are approaching the War on Terrorism. DiCaprio plays a C.I.A. agent operating all over the Middle East and how he is running his operation compared to how his boss, or at least handler as played by Crow, is running it. The subject matter was easy to grasp and the story was interestingly told. I personally saw the movie just to watch DiCaprio act, who gave another spot on performance. He again demonstrates an ability to really make you as the audience member know who his character is and what they are going through like in “The Departed” and “Blood Diamond.” If you’ve enjoyed movies like “Syriana” or “Spy Game” or “Traitor,” which by the way was another great unglamorized spy movie, then you will enjoy “Body of Lies.”
City of Ember - To be honest, didn’t know what this movie was going to be about. Tim Robbins was on the Daily Show plugging it and so I thought “hey I like Tim Robbins!” and so I went to see it. Upon arriving at the theatre I saw as I entered a lot of kids going into my theatre. I then checked the stub to see the rating of the movie only to find out it’s not on there. I walk in and the pre movie bullshit that’s supposed to entertain you till the movie was all kid oriented. I was a little disconcerted at this point thinking that there was a chance I was not going to like this movie and I had been dooped again by Tim Robbins. Let’s face it, he kicked ass in “The Shawshank Redemption” but after that it’s been hit or miss with him and unfortunately it’s the often times the latter. But not today! This movie is about a city called Ember which was a last haven for all of mankind during some “end of life on earth as we know it” type catastrophe. The city runs on a giant generator which has begun to fail. The main characters are two teens, played by Saoirse Ronan and Harry Treadaway, who through a series of events find out what they must do to save the people who inhabit the city. At the beginning of this movie you can already figure out and guess how its going to end but that was not the appeal of this movie. I myself was entertained as to how people turn out to be, think, and do in this environment. The world created in this story was quite enthralling and a testament to mankind’s ability to preserve itself. I personally was pleasantly surprised as to how this movie turned out. Again it is a PG movie and is not too overly complex or action packed but if you’re in the mood for a good story or are entertained by movies with story lines such as this one, then I recommend you go see it.
Quarantine - Horror movie that came out last week that follows the same style of story telling as “The Blair Witch Project,” or “Cloverfield.” In this movie you are viewing an unaired TV show recording, by a local show, of what transpired at the site which was recovered after the event. This style of single held camera movie is what appealed to me. Personally I’m not a fan of horror movies and rarely watch them. Many people thought the “Blair Witch Project” sucked and as bad as it was, the way in which the story was told made it a good movie in my eye. “Cloverfield” too was awesome for me simply by how the story was told from the sole perspective of one man running from Godzilla. All that being said, for me that was the only redeeming factor for this movie. There were a few parts that startled me and caused me to say “OH Shit!” or “What the FUCK?!” but overall not too scary. The story was a bit interesting but part of the explanation was kinda stupid or unlikely. Another part of the movie that was bogus was you spend like almost two thirds of the movie with all this shit unfolding and then they just kill everyone in like ten minutes. Not really but kinda, and if you’re all “What the hell you just ruined the movie!” no I didn’t really; and please it’s a horror film. If they don’t almost all die or all die what the hell did I pay my 9 bucks for? Of the horror movies I’ve seen I would not put it up there with my best but it is watchable. Good movie to snuggle up with your chick to since it just might get her jumping or something to get you into the Halloween spirit, but if you’re not into horror movies you’re gonna want to miss this one.
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