|
Cereal Serials: Rice Krispies Treats Cereal By: PoisonRamune, the Apathetic Lizardman So I was playing GTA 4 at Ron’s house when his mom came in and asked. “Do you kids want rice krispies treats for breakfast?” Now this parody of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Puff Cereal commercial didn’t really happen. But when I first discovered Rice Krispies Treats cereal about 13 years ago, I had a similar moment. However, with the change in people’s dietary (mis)conceptions about sugars and starches, Rice Krispies Treats Cereal has been pretty scarce around the Los Angeles area lately. Though a quick search on the net and a trip to my local Stater Brothers would pay off big this one fateful Saturday morning. I can’t remember why I was looking up that cereal; it might have started as a search to see if any market around me had Boo Berry (the blue raspberry cereal in the Count Chocula line), however, I could have just as easily been hungover and hungry as hell. Either way, I found my way to several “Yahoo Answers” entries based on where to find obscure children’s cereals. After learning that Count Chocula products are not carried anywhere near my house, I tried the Kellogg’s site to see what they had to offer in the lines of bizarre breakfast foods. As I made my way down the scrolling list, I saw one product that made me almost shit my pants.
Apparently, they hadn’t stopped making it and to an even bigger surprise there was supposedly some at the Stater Brothers just over my hill. I made myself barely presentable for the public and hopped into my car. Driving to the market I thought of how back in high school my friends and I would get baked out of our minds and finish a whole box of that stuff in one sitting. The memories and hunger must have been getting to me, as I did a rolling stop through the stop sign near the bottom of my hill (I’m sure if I was pulled over I could have just gotten a slap on the wrist. I mean, being in a rush to get such a mythic cereal is totally understandable). I finally made it to the store, but to my dismay I don’t find any boxes of Rice Krispie Treats Cereal. Disheartened, I looked for another cereal that might satisfy my yearning for a baked goods based breakfast. Upon scanning the shelves I find a box of Keebler Cookie Crunch Cereal. Thinking it might make a good subject for a review; I picked up a box and dropped it in my cart. To my surprise staring right at me was a box of Rice Krispies Treats Cereal. Some stupid child must have ditched the box in the wrong section covering the cereal I was originally there for. I grabbed the Rice Krispies Treats Cereal and proceeded to ditch the Keebler Cookie Crunch back on the shelf (those poor elves are never going to make it out of the store).
Upon coming home I could not wait to eat a bowl of this. I already had an idea of how great this cereal was, but did it retain its awesomeness without my “teen colored glasses?” I poured myself a bowl and took that critical first bite. They still had that taste of real marshmallow and puffed rice cereal squares in milk, but something was different about them. I never remembered them being so hard. I don’t mean like Cap‘n Crunch hard, these were dangerously hard. It almost felt as if 1 one of my teeth broke and I was grinding it down as I chewed (which actually happened to me while eating something else). This actually scared me; to the point where I had to leave my cereal swimming in milk for a good 5-10 minutes to ensure that each treat shard was softened. Despite the fact that I knew eating one of those rock hard bits would probably break my already damaged premolar, the amazing flavor of the cereal made the wait the longest 5-10 minutes of my life. While that’s a mild exaggeration, the cereal does taste great. Imagine taking a couple squares of those rice krispie treats your girlfriend made for you (or mom for lonely guys like Ron) and dumping them in a bowl of cold milk. All the flavors are right there. They have the starchy yet airy taste of the rice krispies, the interestingly sweet flavor of the marshmallows and even that buttery taste is there too. The simple flavor array is absolutely superb.
While the risk of breaking another tooth is very frightening to me. The magic of having a baked sale product in my cereal bowl offsets the fear. Final Verdict: So if you ever want to find this cereal, here’s the link for the product locator.
|
