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The Top 5 Dumbest Predictions for ‘08 That Might Actually Happen Josh Adachi's List 5. Hollywood Hires Scabs to Replace Striking Union Writers In 2008, the entertainment industry is going hire scabs to write scripts as long as they're willing to push their way through the celebrity sprinkled picket line. The result is a slew of fresh, if not unfocussed efforts which will be especially popular among the 18-30 age demographic. A popular new show features a gangster donut, trying to push his sugary goodness, while the CIA introduces a deadly, addictive substance (Jelly) into the community. Meanwhile, his baby's momma, a donut hole, can't keep her eyes off the scraggly haired teenager who can beat the street fighter II machine in 3 quarters. Although the show is widely understood to be the worst show in the history of the universe, viewers can't take their eyes of the screen. 4. Islamic Extremists Are Correct God will show himself to be on the side of Islamic Extremists, displaying a strong preference for war-mongering over homosexual tolerance. As American society degrades into nothing more than a massive, drunken orgy, Jihadists will merely have to step over naked, undulating bodies to take the capital. 3. Gamers Become the New Jock As video game competitions become increasingly lucrative, finger dexterity will become more impressive than the body coordination required to play the games of yore. Being more popular than ever, video game enthusiasts elect to modify traditional jock culture to their tastes, decorating Toyota Tundras with World of Warcraft inspired shield hubcaps and oversized Sonic the Hedgehog decals. Meanwhile, lovers of sports develop something of a subculture, scheduling games in remote locations which they schedule via U.S. Post. 2. The Beatles Reunite Ringo and Paul will share a stage and vocal duties on deceased members' songs. In the interest of diplomacy they will split the Lennon and Harrison songs 50/50, but Paul will "accidentally" sing over Ringo. On-stage fights ensue inspiring a reality television show featuring the aging fabs trying to patch up their their relationship. Dubbed "All We Need is Love", special guests will include Mick Jagger, Dr. Phil and Snoop Dogg. Because they don't need money, the winner of the contest gets to legally punch Yoko Ono in the stomach. Yoko Ono will agree to this proposition in the name of art. 1. The U.S. Elects a Black President Kanye West produces a new Radiohead Album. Peace reigns supreme.
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