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Salty Nuts in My Mouth - Emerald Nuts Wasabi Oven Roasted Peanuts By: PoisonRamune, the Apathetic Lizardman I had recently read a review on Emerald Nuts Wasabi Oven Roasted Peanuts in a magazine and was quite intrigued with the high score they received. However, after trying the peanuts for myself, I now wonder about the integrity of that publication and the personal sanity of the reviewer. To say that Emerald Nuts Wasabi oven Roasted Peanuts are inedible and terrible would be quite an exaggeration. They seem to be more mismarketed than outright bad (but that doesn’t mean they’re decent either).
The first thing you’ll notice upon tasting them is the lack of wasabi flavor. These peanuts are not spicy at all. In fact, they even lack that mock wasabi flavor (ground horseradish, green dye, and wasabi powder/essence) that a lot of companies use now-a-days. At best the peanuts have this subtle hint of horseradish, the same hint of horseradish you’d get from kissing your girlfriend after you eating a prime rib dinner. It doesn’t taste like anything, but it’s almost like you’re smelling horseradish with the back of your mouth. Though the peanuts lack that wasabi spiciness where it feels as if one of your eyes has liquefied and has begun to flow out of your sinus cavity; these peanuts do have some sort of taste. Unfortunately for Emerald, the seasoning used on their peanuts would have been better suited for either cuts of steak or potato chips. The seasoning used on these is basically: the half assed portion of wasabi/horseradish flavoring, garlic salt, and onion powder. This wouldn’t be so bad and might have actually been pretty decent had the ratio of ingredients not been totally off. However, in its current state, it’s nothing more than a lethal dose of salt with more onion flavoring than what’s found in a bag of Funyuns (with some garlic and horseradish flavoring making small cameos).
The worst part of these peanuts are not the flavor, their appearance is simply dreadful and unappetizing. Due to the fact that these poor peanuts are masquerading as a wasabi coated product; they’re forced to don this strangely unnatural shade of green dust around them. The color can be described as a green slightly darker than kryptonite, but a little lighter than some good skunk weed. This shade of green should seriously be reserved for things that kill aliens or things you smoke to get high, never for food stuff. The peanuts also have a weird crystalline texture around them, which is most likely the pound of salt they’ve managed to cram into this bag of nuts trying to reach a point of recrystallization. One thing good about these peanuts is the fact that they make an excellent salad topping. Being the frugal guy I am I just couldn’t see myself throwing out a near full bag of peanuts, even though I don’t really like them. So I tried to get creative with them and started topping every bit of food I ate with a sprinkling of peanut bits. I found that they did taste pretty good if you lightly crushed them and used them as a topping on Japanese somen salad (cold noodle salad with cabbage and a soy sauce based dressing). If you’re looking for a spicy snack with a nice solid texture, I seriously hope you look elsewhere to fill the void. My suggestion would be getting yourself a bag of Hapi or JFC brand wasabi peas or peanuts as they do have a very nice kick to them (without feeling like you’re eating salt lick).
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