Rob / PoisonRamune / Apathetic Lizardman

"Video game reviews with a twist... As I play the games while faded."

Ninja Gaiden: A Review in Altered States

"Creepy old men and the letters they send to my work."

Rob Whang and the Gregarious Graying Geezers

"Due to a lack of commentary on the "moe" factor of Phoenix Wright, I decided to write an article regarding the cutesy girls from the game."

The Top 5 Hottest Girls of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

"No one can resist a good bowl of breakfast cereal. I even hear there's a restaurant in the Philippines that serves nothing but cold cereal. In light of such fascinations I present the 1st in a series of cereal reviews."

Cereal Serials: Trader Joe's Strawberry Yogurt O's

"Another entry in the series of faded video game reviews."

Toejam and Earl: A Review in Altered States

"A point by point commentary breaking down a featured article I found in the yahoo.com video games section."

Counterpunch: Breaking Down Breaking News

"My second cereal review. As I foreshadowed in the first review, I chose to eat the hemp granola."

Cereal Serials: Nature’s Path Hemp Plus Organic Granola Cereal

"I'm a big fan of Jet Li and Jackie Chan... Did this movie match-up deliever everything I was expecting from them? Read and find out."

Forbidden Kingdom: A Movie Review

"Once again I show my creepy side and rank some digital girls according to their attractiveness. This time I'm moving on to the 2nd game in the Ace Attorney series 'Justice for All.'"

The Top 5 Hottest Girls of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All

"I do a straightforward review on a handful of title available for WiiWare. Find out which games were great and which ones failed to make the mark."

WiiWare: A Multiple Game Review

"Once again I compile a list of ranked objects. This time I gripe about the problems with making friends in the internet age."

The Top 5 Problems with Social Networking Sites

"As a different change of pace, I make commentary about a line of comics that were made to spread the word about Jesus the Christ."

Tract Marks: Making Fun of Fundamentalists

"You ever play Space Invaders Extreme or Lego Indiana Jones: the Original Adventures? You ever play Space Invaders Extreme or Lego Indiana Jones: the Original Adventures on booze or weed, man?"

Reviews in Altered States Double Feature

"What do websites such as Myspace, Facebook and Friendster have in common with a game about a town full animals and their everyday lives? Read and find out."

Social Stimulation: A Comparison of Digital Life

"It was a hell of a weekend full of: games, fun and general nerdiness. Come see what we had to say about the greatest gaming convention of 2008 (because we were there)."

Penny Arcade Expo '08 Coverage

"Continuing on with our reviews on breakfast cereal, Rob talks about one that used to be a favorite from his teen years. How did it hold up to his adult palate? Read and find out."

Cereal Serials: Rice Krispies Treats Cereal

"I bought this game just to get the paddle controller that came with it. Was it like those lousy cereals you buy just to get the prize inside? Or was it better than I expected?"

Arkanoid Ds: A Review In Altered States.

"The Wii's been out for 2 years now. It still sells like mad in store, but is it really all Nintendo promised us? Come take a look with us at a comparison of thoughts of the Wii then and the Wii today."

Are People Playing Games Like This? - A Rant On 2 Years of Wii

"An arcade by the RwN HQ recently got a Street Fighter 4 machine. See our thoughts on the game and the community that's forming around it."

Day of Street Fighter, Night of the Sluts

"Another installment of 'Games to Play While Faded,' this time we're back on the classics and talking about one of the hardest Sega Genesis games known to man."

Comix Zone: A Review in Altered States

"A different look at why production studios love to pump out sequels. Is it because of thei laziness or is it what we secretly ask for?"

Sequels Suck II: The Revenge

"Again, Rob digs deep into his creepy side and speaks about a hot little nerd of a J-Pop star and her love for cosplaying."

The Top 5 Hottest Cosplays of Shoko Nakagawa

"How i learned to love one of the cooler games in the Kirby series. And how it's not really a game at all."

Kirby Super Star (that is what you are)

"With vivid memories of playing Oregon Trail in elementary school, we decided to try to define what type of genre the gameplay falls into. And we didn't label it 'edutainment.'"

Trailing Along: Defining Oregon Trail

"While I normally hate TV, I catch myself watching Saved by the Bell every morning before going to work. Join me as I explore one of my favorite episodes of all time."

Saved by the Bell: Mystery Weekend

"Further adding to our collection of reviews on games to play while drunk and high, we present Wario Land: Shake It. Find out what I thought as I make a surreal game even more surreal by drinking and smoking."

Wario Land - Shake It: A Review in Altered States

"After playing one of the most epic Tactical RPGs on earth, I felt it to be my duty to share this amazing gem with you. Check out all the great things we had to say about the gigantic game in a little DS card."

You Really Should Be Playing This Game: Disgaea DS

"With the recent release of Castlevania: Order of the Ecclesia we decided to spend a week talking about our favorite game series. Read on as Rob lists the 5 most difficult games starring Romania's favorite vampire hunting family."

The Top 5 Toughest 2-D Castlevania Games

"Rob shares (brags) about a collectible CD he got for free and then goes on to review it. See what he thought about a CD that you may never listen to."

Music Plus - Castlevania: Order of the Ecclesia Soundtrack

"Another game is added to the collection of games you should be playing. This time we chose one that was appropriate for the fall/Halloween season."

You Really Should Be Playing This Game: Castlevania – Order of the Ecclesia

"A discussion about why all handheld games should have single cart download play/ad hoc or downloadable demos. Read ahead and join the cause."

Allowing Ad Hoc: Freeing Free Games

"After being huge fans of Alien Crush for TG-16 for the last 20 years, we just had to check out its sequel on Wiiware. Was it as good as its 2-D predecessor? Read on and see."

Aliens vs Editor

"Another retrospective on one of my favorite Saved by the Bell episodes. This one stars our teen movie/sitcom favorite character, Marijuana."

Saved by the Bell: No Hope with Dope

"While searching around for my Wacom Pen and something to write an article about, I came across an amazing NES game index by Nintendo Power. Come check it out and take a stroll down memory lane."

Nintendo Power: Pak Source

"Sometimes, even great game series have some losers in their ranks. Rob explores some of the worst games of better game franchises, starting with Megaman and the ZX series of games."

What Are You Doing to a Series? Mega Man ZX

"Rob talks about an obscure, yet well made shmup on the DS. Read on and see how 'zombies + fairy tales + carnage = epic win!'"

You Really Should Be Playing This Game: Little Red Riding Hood’s Zombie BBQ

"What if you mixed the random battles and job system of a Final Fantasy game with the random fun of a Mario Party game? Read and find out our thoughts about a game that does just that."

Dokapwned Kingdom

"If you have someone in your life that's clueless about what to get a gamer for the holidays; they need to read this one."

The Top 5 Things Not to Buy a Gamer

"A review of a movie that focuses on the true meaning of Christmas, the holiday rush."

Jingle All the Way: Movie Review

"Sometimes, too much of a good thing is bad. However, when you mix ample amounts of 2 really good things like Saved by the Bell and Christmas you get a whole lot of awesome."

Saved by the Bell: Home For Christmas

"Santa is such a well recognized figure around the world that often times he's found in non-Christmas media. Many time his video game appearances go forgotten or unnoticed."

The Top 5 Cameos by Santa in Video Games

"Rob reviews Universal Pictures' The Wizard. See our thoughts on the movie that some call a 90 minute infomercial for various Nintendo products."

The Wizard: Movie Review

"You procrastinated and now run the risk of not being able to get a loved one that special gift. Read ahead and see how you can gain the gift giving advantage, even when time isn't in your favor."

How to Get that Must Have Gift

"A Christmas Carol has been remade or parodied so many times that we'll often watch a rehash of the famous Dickens' story and not even realize it."

Top 5 Christmas Carol Adaptations

"Once again, Rob pokes fun at those evangelical Christian tracts. This time Jack Chick tries to reach out to and insult the African American community at the exact same time."

Tract Marks: Making Fun of More Fundamentalists - The Revenge

"To cap off the Phoenix Wright games in the Ace Attorney series, Rob's back to rank the girls from the 3rd game."

The Top 5 Hottest Girls of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations

"Got a 360 and need Live? Want an awesome peripheral bundle with a game? Just want to rip off Microsoft in general? Then have we found the perfect package for you."

The Best Deal for Xbox360

"Rob does another drunk and high review. Though this game is a very recent one, it's designed with that classic 90's arcade style."

Castle Crashers: A Review in Altered States

"Many times elements of the supernatural are used in contemporary (and even classic) fiction. video games are no exception as they'll sometimes have deep spiritual undertones in their stories."

The Top 5 Weirdest Religious References in Video Games

"Because Rob has that thing for smaller girls..."

The Top 5 Video Games that features (an) Under Aged Girl(s)

"While I haven't been afraid of a video game, since Resident Evil 2... This first puzzle game had me on edge during my entire play through and it's not even meant to be a horror game."

You Really Should Be Playing This Game: Portal

"Rob recounts the time he accidently picked up the Viewtiful Joe spin-off while drunk at game stop. A hilarious comedy of errors."

Viewtiful Joe: Red Hot Rumble

"Even though we frequently bash license based games here. We came up with this list to remind you that not all games based on movies, comics, and toys have to suck."

The Top 5 Best NES Games (w/ Movie/TV Licensing)

"Even though I'm a huge fan of Saved by the Bell, this one episode always manages to piss me off."

Saved by the Bell: 1-900-Crushed

"Never in my life had I played a game that just gave up on me... That is until I played a bargain bin shmup on the Wii."

The Monkey King: The Legend Begins (Wii)

"Being on the internet near constatnly, I've come to see a lot of idiots arguing over which of the big 3 consoles is on top. Let's settle this once and for all."

Console Wars

"Rob was sick of all the FPSs, modern war stories, space marine drivel and zombie pandemic stuff on the 360, so he got a game about a man and his sword."

Late Night with Conan the Barbarian

"I wanted to make a list of good shooters, but I also wanted it so you could get all of the games on the list legally and on the cheap."

The Top 5 Most Innovative Downloadable Shmups

"The second part of the Team Fortress 2 article. Here, we go over the cast of characters."

Team Fortress 2: Say Hello to My Little Friends

"Though he claims to hate first person shooters... Rob always seems to sneak a round or two of this in everyday."

Team Fortress 2 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Guns

"Now that the console version of Street Fighter 4 is out, we thought it fitting to compare and contrast it to the arcade version."

Street Fighter 4 Home

"While I normally hate minigame collections this one was an awesome simulation of my elementary school life."

You Really Should Be Playing This Game: Retro Game Challenge

"Can a movie be so tragically bad that it becomes outright hilarious? Read and find out."

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

"Being a very hungry stoner that's always on the go, Rob knows where they burger are at. Come see his list of the best burger joints."

The Top 5 Burger Places

"Rob writes about the most interesting driving game he's ever played, since it's designed as an open ended racing game."

Review in Altered States: Burnout Paradise

"We finally found a game that throws all my preconceived notions about license based games and games made for little girls out the window."

Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus

"I never thought I'd see the day. A GTA game on the Nintendo DS (sidenote: the game actually doesn't suck)."

Take You Down To Chinatown

"Since every episode of Saved By the Bell is riddled with: plotholes, continuity errors and non-sequitors; we decided to list the best of the best."

The Top 5 Most Non-Sequitor Aspects of Saved by the Bell

"Despite the amazing reviews Resident Evil 4 got, I was really shocked and taken aback by how much it deviated from the other Resident Evil games."

What Are You Doing to a Series? Resident Evil 4

"Seeing as I haven't played a wrestling video game in over a decade, I was very shocked at the presentation and gameplay of this game."

Legends of the Fall – WWE Legends of Wrestlemania

"Gamestop was practically giving this game away. I must say, for being a bargain bin game, it was pretty enjoyable."

Bargain Bin Gems: Teenage Zombies: Invasion of the Alien Brain Thingys! DS

"If there's a game out there with a trippy syncopated synergy, you can bet I'll be there doing a review on it."

Day Tripping – Bit.Trip Beat

"After seeing countless ads on Facebook and Myspace for online dating. I decided to rank those semi-slutty ad models according to their attractiveness."

The Top 5 "Hawttest" True/Mate1/SinglesNet.com Ad Girls

"Rob does a semi-poignant article about 4/20 and why it's even a special day in his eyes (aside from getting super toasted)."

What Does 420 Mean to Me

"Another current gen first person perspective game I don't hate. I think that brings the list up to 3-4 games."

See Faith Run – Mirror’s Edge

"Up until late 2009, Ron's brother and I will be piggy backing off of eachother's internet popularity and play with a Ford prototype."

Ford Fiesta Movement Coverage (Agent #82, Ryan Basilio)

"As approach my 30's, I feel stupider and stupider for having such a deep love for the Pokemon series. Thankfully, I found a game that's a bit more 'grown up,' though still retains that digital monster hunting goodness,"

Joking Around – Dragon Quest Monsters Joker

"Due to the heavy media response and public criticism to this controversial coloring book, I decided to throw my 2 cents in."

A Scary Thing Happened - A FEMA Book

"Rob reviews a super fun and creative game everyone can play... It's honestly equivalent to a non-boring board game online."

You Really Should Be Playing This Game: Broken Picture Telephone

"Nintendo breaths life back into one of their most loved franchises after a 15 year break... Does this new Punch-Out have what it takes to be a knock-out?"

How Much Punch Do Wii Have? Punch-Out!!

"What do you get when you mix 2 of my favorite types of games together? Pure awesome that is called Pokemon Pinball!"

I Got 3 Balls to Catch ‘em All! Pokemon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire Version

"A more personal article... Rob shares his love for ALF and also talks about his credibility in telling you what you should be watching/eating/playing."

“ALFa Consumer” – An Account of the 80’s and Trend Setting

"An article about the major difference between the original Star Wars trilogy and its prequels (not counting the special effects)."

Han Shot First and Other Short Stories

"While most games try to push the limits of their system's graphics capabilities, Rob reviews a DS game that's designed to look and feel like an old vector lineart RPG."

In-Spire: The Dark Spire

"It's almost as if this anime was made for me. It's about a group of cute High School girls that love anime and video games."

Lucky Strike – Why I Like Lucky Star

"Though Rob's stopped playing the main Final Fantasy games over 10 years ago, he still finds a lot of enjoyment in playing through the numerous Final Fantasy spin-off games."

The Top 5 Final Fantasy Spin-Off Games

"Rob shocks the world by going to the theatre 2 times this year. Instead of watching an atrociously bad retelling of a story from a famous video game series. He watches an animated feature about balloons."

Getting It Up – Pixar’s Up

"A small change of pace, as Rob shares one of his secret recipe for quality pot munchables. Well, it's not really a secret considering he'll tell you the recipe if you just ask him."

Space Bakery - The Secret to My Success

"A more personal story about the RwN staff. Perhaps this is the 1st of many personal anecdotes such as: the day Josh tried to eat the world's spiciest ramen or the night Ron passed out."

Trying to Remember, Dying to Forget

"An RwN tribute to one of the greatest musicians and entertainers that ever lived."

Last Night an MJ Saved My Life

"Rob reviews a game that recently went up for sale on the PS3/Xbox360/Wii's download service, see why you should save your points and use them on a game that's good."

Save Your Money/Points for Something Else - Crystal Defenders

"Because all the world is a buzz with stuff about Michael Jackson, I figured we have an open invite to obsess about him too."

The Top 5 Bizarre Michael Jackson Post-Death Events Predictions (That Might Actually Happen)

"I felt compelled to do a review on this game, since so many reviewers hated it and felt that it was a huge let down as compared to the previous 2 games in the series."

You’re Totally Nuts!! Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts

"What do you gt when you mix a rhythm game with a game done in the same surrealistic styling as Wario World? Rhythm Heaven, of course."

We Are a Part of the Rhythm Nation: Rhythm Heaven

"No matter who you are, what you do, or how uneducated you may be. Deep down there's something about you that makes you a nerd. I have proof."

We’re All Nerds

"Another game I really liked that the reviewers didn't. Come see why I thought Nathan Spencer's 'swing' into the world of 3-D was one of his best adventures yet."

Going Commando: Bionic Commando

"Rob reviews a really bad Cheech and Chong movie. Sadly, no amount of dope could make this movie decent."

Burning Out - Cheech and Chong: Still Smokin'

"Our initial thoughts on the Motion Plus device for the Wii and our prognosis of what's in store for the future of the Wii."

Revolutionary: Initials Thoughts of the Wii Motion Plus

"A follow-up to the Motion Plus article. We actually review each of the 'sports' on the Wii Sports Resort game disc."

Wii Sports Report - Wii Sports Resort

"Because Rob has little respect for girls that act dumb, he'll be starting a series of articles based on girls that try to get ahead by being slutty. Come see our first subject, the star of High School Musical (not Zac Efron) and the stupid cell phone pics she takes."

Hoe School Musical - The Dumb Girl Revue

"Rob talks about one of the most amazing pizza discoveries he's made since he found out Round Table Pizza has a lunch buffet."

Ai no Pizza (Love Pizza) - Love Letter

"Rob reviews a digital version of a pretty famous collectible card game. And no, he's not playing Yu-Gi-Oh on the DS."

It’s a Kind of Magic - Magic the Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers

"Rob asked you to ask questions you wanted answered for PAX. Here's the list of developers and the questions you asked up until a week before he had to leave."

PAX Quest - Choose Your Own Adventure

"My favorite scenes from an awesome anime about high school girls and not one of them is a sex scene."

My Top 5 Favorite Moments in Lucky Star

"If you give Rob a little booze and a camera, the idiot thinks he's a actual photo journalist. Come see PAX as he saw it (well, without the blurred vision from being sleep deprived and faded)."

Picture This: PAX

"It was the strangest contest at PAX. Every where you went people were frantically trying to find someone with their matching set of numbers that another person could possibly have."

Something like a Phenomenon

"Rob talks about the coolest game at PAx and also shares a gripe he had with a contest that the people running the game's booth were holding."

PAX Game Re-Cap: Best of Show

"While this game we played at PAX was a great game, you'd probably never think to buy it if you saw it at the store. Read on and find out whiy this Nerf game made the underdog pick of PAX."

PAX Game Re-Cap: The Underdog

"Rob does a review on a DS game that was highly anticipated by both fans and critics... Did it live up to its claims as being the ultimate mix of sandbox, puzzle and god game?"

It's "Naut" a Bad Game - Scribblenauts

"A review on one of the millions of Bejeweled clones out there. It's innovated unlock system saves this from being just another boring 'match 3' puzzle game."

Reefer Madness – Big Kahuna Reef

"While at PAx '09 we received a sample bag of trail mix that came with claims of performance enhancement in the world of gaming. Did this fancy snack mix do all it claimed? Or did it just roll nuts?"

Performance Enhancing Grub - Gamer Grub

"Years after Rob swore that he'd never touch another Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game again, he found one that's a mix of all his favorite aspects in video games."

Online in My Double Dragon? - Dungeon Fighter Online

"Another review on a video game that's based on a card game. This time we reviewed a card game that doesn't actually exist in card form, but is based on 2 really cool licensings."

SNK vs. Capcom Card Fighters DS

"Aside from the large groups of obnoxious teens wandering around and the awesome booze filled parties teeming with slutty girls in sexy garb, I can always count on random Simpsons Halloween episodes all throughout later October."

The Top 5 Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Segments (Pre-year 2000/Pre-Season 10)

"You may have heard about this game based on the legal troubles it faced during its production or you may have heard that it's a strange mix of RTS, hack n slash and sandbox games elements. Either way, come see our full thoughts on Tim Schafer's newest story driven adventure game."

I Am (Brutal) Legend

"Rounding off our Halloween updates, Rob couldn't help but to make fun of those Fundamentalist Christian tracts. This time he pokes fun at a comic that pokes at Halloween."

Tract Marks: Making Fun of Fundamentalists - Halloween Edition

"Though many people claimed that Shadow Complex was going to change the ways we thought about metroidvania type games, Rob wasn't very impressed with it. Read on and see why it failed to make the mark."

Complex Issues: Shadow Complex

"It seems as if Rob has a thing for putting nuts in his mouth and telling the world how he likes them. This time he reviews some peanuts that were made to be a little spicy."

Salty Nuts in My Mouth - Emerald Nuts Wasabi Oven Roasted Peanuts

"Rob reviews a Diablo clone, that actually supercedes being a Diablo clone and is more like a Diablo remake. Read ahead to get a brief history of this game (and its genre) along with Rob's thoughts of it."

A Light Unto Thy Path - Torchlight (PC)

"Hailed as one of the greatest comic book games of all time. Batman: Arkham Asylum is not actually a comic book game, but rather a well made game starring a character that originally starred in a comic book."

Batman: Arkham Asylum is NOT a Comic Book Game

"In his search to find a well made Diablo clone, Rob came across a pokemon game which is much like a streamlined dungeon crawling action RPG."

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble - Pokemon Rumble

"Since we haven't done one in over half a year... Rob thought it would be a great time to do a review on a bad game, since he recently finished one of the worst games he's ever played."

Let’s Go, Bub - X-Men Origins: Wolverine Uncaged Edition

"Despite not liking the NES Excitebike, Rob actually found that he REALLY liked the Wiiware version. To the point where he wanted to gift this game to a bunch of friends to start a racing league."

Ridin' Dirty - Excitebike World Rally

"The first of our Christmas articles, Rob does commentary on commentary about potentially dangerous toys."

2009 "10 Worst Toys" List with Commentary (pt 1)

"It took him a long time to get into this game. But when Rob did, he fell in love with the game hard. See his thoughts on an older Xbox360 title that was just recently released for download via Xbox Live Arcade."

Don’t Back Down When You Crackdown

"The second part of the toy commentary commentary, be sure to check out the first article (or not since they're not really dependent on eachother)."

"10 Worst Toys" List with Commentary (pt 2)

"Though the FPS is one of his weakest game genres, Rob found a first person shooter that was not only easy enough for him to beat, but also pretty darn fun for what it is."

How I Wet Your Mother - Water Warfare

"Rob always has a strange obsession with the must have holiday toy of the Christmas. This time, his fascination turns to disgust as he talks about a ridiculously over hyped toy pet."

The Holiday Hype: Zhu Zhu Pets

"While the McRib's return is a fairly predictable unpredictable event, we always get a little excited when we hear it's coming back to McDonalds."

Getting Ribbed - The McRib Review

"A review on a recently released game based on a fictional character that hasn't been relevant in pop culture for almost 15 years."

Find Waldo, Yet Again - Where’s Waldo? The Fantastic Journey DS

"As a huge fan of Irem's Kung Fu it's natural to see why this was one of the first games Rob downloaded for PSN, since this game is an interesting mix between Kung Fu and Double Dragon."

Revenge of the Wounded Dragons (PSN Download)

"You would think when Konami releases an enhanced remake of one of their classic Castlevania games, we'd be all over it and kissing its ass. Sadly, the mark has truly been missed in this lackluster remake of an old Gameboy game."

Born Twice, Die Once - Castlevania the Adventure: Rebirth

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